Monday Mirth; ‘Cause You Can’t Think That Hard On Vacation

Is it me, or are holidays as much work as regular ‘ol days? Before I’m reminded that compared to real life problems, this isn’t one of them, let me state – I know, I know. It’s just a little kvetching – I’ll blame it on the climate changing heat, but the planning, the supplies round-up, the prep, then the actual execution to get to that intended utopia – ugh!

I’d thought I’d laze by the water and let the whirlwinds of the last few months recede from my mind like a raft in meditation on a barely conscious flowing river, unleashing my creativity in rapturous waves and thus I would finally finish a script due approximately three weeks ago. Nope. (Sorry, boss).

So, here I am, once again dumped into the realm of life that throws me into the pursuit of the most simple of pleasures – memes! What I get, is what you get 😀 …

I wonder if this make-up is available online? There’s a couple people I’d like to try it on.
Seems pretty clear to me…
Did it take you as long to clue in as I did?
Jurassic Park; Madagascar version. The fear is real.
Don’t you? Don’t you, Don’t you?!
Bad boy, bad boy, what you gonna do when they come for you? Also, it’s OK to reduce a little of the sunscreen.
Fire up the bar-b; that catch ain’t gonna sear itself
This is a friggin’ steal for Majestic Ass!
I fear this is still me.
That moment when you realize you would have been way better off to just offer a Majestic Ass biscuit.

That’s all she wrote this holiday, folks. Stay hydrated, wear reasonable sunscreen, dance in moonlight, or whatever the hell it takes to enjoy any part of this latest summer…


…And I’ll get back to the script soon, boss. Just as soon as I finish packing up all the necessities for the beach.

RL

Friday Funnies; ‘Cause It’s My Anniversary & I Can Fun If I Want To

It’s getting close to that green time of year again, and by green, I mean green beer, green rivers, green paraphernalia of assorted insanity, and oh yeah, Spring.

It’s also my 6th year of using this platform to assuage my compulsions to opine and write, which for some reason I decided to launch on March 17th. Maybe it was after a couple green beers; I don’t know, but here I still am.  I remain absolutely grateful to those who follow and especially so for those who have stuck around all this time. I couldn’t be more thankful for your support, wisdom and kindnesses through every bump and grind I’ve written about, and in sharing a laugh or two. I hope today’s merry mirth wins a smile from you too…

What? You’ve never seen a coyotree before? (If you want to see a canine pick apples, video here )

Ooooh, if only I had known to ask for specifics….

That lamp looks pissed

I honestly don’t know what to say about this life-size crocheted replica of a woman and her dog… Do you hang it over your fireplace mantle?

Every woman I’ve ever known…

I need this guy.

Beat this, Jenny Craig!

Ah, to hell with it; cut wherever you want

Musical  interlude:

Yup, we could say, Baby got back.

 

Happy weekend, all. May the road not meet your face too quickly on Sunday.

RL

 

Monday Mirth; ‘Cause Friday Was 3 Days Ago

Τhe days are shorter and darker now, but we’re past the point where the light is back on its way so, yea, feeling a little on the lighter side. There comes that time in the year when you realize you’ve done what you’ve can in all the months prior. It’s all that it is and all that it can be until the new year opens up other opportunities.

I like the teachings of my culture and its relation to nature that tells us winter is a season of rest and replenishment.  Let it all go for a bit, breathe and grab a smile wherever and whenever…

I swear, this was what my neighborhood looked like November 1st. No damned joke.

When the tree has to match the size of the ego…

Just a little somethin’ for my Neechie friends. It’s an oldie, but I just love these little fellas

The obligatory PSA

It was only then Rudolph’s mom realized her error…

Damn those milky trenches

They say Christmas is really for the children, right?

Do it. Much happiness guaranteed. May not apply to real trees.

Ha! Jokes on you dude, that’s a summer shirt he’s got on.

The bonus meme: 10 extra points for getting the joke

 

Wishing all a fab Christmas, a wonderful holiday season, a terrific however you want to celebrate any extra days off with all the people that are dearest to you or in any solitude you may crave.

See you again closer to New Year’s Eve. Feeling up for a little light poetry by then, I think.

RL

Friday Funnies; ‘Cause We Forgot We Still Even Humour!

HOLY, bustling blow-up busy months, Batman! There’s barely been time to find a funny, let alone share. So, can we agree it’s about bloodish meme time, even if it looks like we’re gonna to have to take whatever we can get?

Gotta say, I question the marketing strategy.

On the other hand, maybe it’s not ‘that’ bad…

Every mile is 420 in Canada now!

🎵 Teach your children well,
Their father’s hell did slowly go by…🎵

Who wore it best?

Irony… 🤓

Yeah…. I’m not gonna touch this one.

There are some truly majestic creatures in the world; these aren’t them…

When the Kylie Jenner lip kit goes wrong?

A rare glimpse of a Whatisit

Formal portrait…casual chapeau… little tongue action…it works, yeah?

This lion has seen some stuff…

Maybe I need to get out and see more stuff myself, but I might have to re-think all the get back to nature suggestions…

In the meantime, I hope to have a great weekend. Here’s hoping for you too!

RL

Friday Funnies; ‘Cause I’m Smokin’ Hot

Yeah, so BC is on fire. Again. 10 years of this oppressive heat & ash-filled lungs trend and of course, Canada decides it’s a perfect excuse to build a highly toxic, combustible pipeline through the path of the most fire vulnerable areas possible. No joke. The federal government has actually stated and paid to advertise that, ‘by throwing more carbon into the air, we will reduce our carbon footprint’. Can we possibly be more cutting-edge? 🙄

But I digress. Where was I? Right, so from trying to breathe through the latest ‘new normal’, in what is predicted to be a continuing trend of awful new normals for our summer air quality, to blinking non-stop at the political machinations over the entire of North America, a little escapism is more than in order. Yeah?

I make no apologies for my reliance on the sacred, the medicinal, the gucci-est high five to your face memes. Let us proceed. It’s always good to introduce yourself, so let me start with that…

Meet, Canuck.  Vancouver’s City Ambassador. He beat out Michael J. Fox. Not kidding. Like attracts like; we occasionally double date.

Who doesn’t enjoy a good drive-thru?

It’s true, what they say about sand, it DOES get everywhere

Not, hilarious funny, it’s good, but I just love a good appliance sale

If only I had a dime for all the times…😏

Musical Interlude
A couple for the oldies… (Click on the pic, if you’re a serious newb)

Who’s singing now?

Moving along…

Truth in advertising

See? BC fires. I’m tellin’ ya.

I like to conclude by tying a demo to my opening salvos. I think this sums it all up nicely.

Have a terrific final August, 2018 weekend. Stay hydrated.

RL

Kill Me Now Karma – Formally Known as Do Not Write a Reference Letter This Way, Reprised

I made a terrible mistake in a reference letter once. Granted I was very young and new to the processes of supervision and management. My only training had been being thrown directly into the fire.  Actually, I think they used me as kindling.

As it happens, I was eventually asked to write letters of reference.  Unfortunately, one of those early requests was for someone that I would’ve preferred not to do, but I felt a little obligated and truthfully, I also had semi-dark reasoning.   I was hopeful that it might help us get rid of her faster.

typewriter and paper for 46She regaled us daily with constant complaints. Unfortunately, her desire to provide suggestions for improvement didn’t match her primary efforts.  She also questioned whether every request was really necessary and then she moved at the speed of cold honey to complete them.

Various versions of our days of whine and quease ran through my mind as I struggled with what to say in the letter.  In the end I managed to write that she was a good employee who reliably came to work and could be recommended to competently complete processing general work in repetitive format.

And then she was gone. Yay!

A couple of years later, it was time for me to move on too.  I was thrilled with my new position in a really dynamic up and coming company. It was about a year into this job when guess who applied for a position at the same place?  When some asked me about her because of our mutual previous employer, I said I only knew of her and that I couldn’t really say much else.

I was underwhelmed at the thought of her presence in the building, but I was really unprepared for the news that she would be coming to work in my department, once again under my supervision.  Was I an ax murderer in a previous life, Karma?

I was ready to throw back scotch shots, multiple scotch shots, and I can’t even look at that stuff without thinking esophageal transplant. I still don’t understand how scotch isn’t really automotive fuel additive.  I wholly entertained “kill me now, Karma” thoughts.

To make a long story short, and to shorten the building horror of my damaging memories, I’ll just move onto the day my scotch bottle needs blew up.  My frustrations uncorked with an unbridled request for her to complete her duties.  As in, “Why can’t you just shut the hell up and do your damned job”?

I didn’t realize how loudly I‘d made my request until I saw the company VP strolling down from the other end of the building to ask if I was OK.  Then he asked me to come and speak with him in his office. Yep, thats a walk of shame right there, especially when it’s with somebody you deeply respect.

We engaged in the discussion of what happened and why and how I couldn’t understand how we could move ahead in any meaningful way with such an obvious lack of fit, as she clearly was.

He turned to a bank of files and pulled out a folder.  In measure of fair play, or maybe just a little bit of play, he asked me if I was sure she wasn’t competent enough to work for the company.  I answered with certainty; no, she is not.  Then he handed me a copy of a reference letter she’d provided. Yup. Why couldn’t he have just handed me a few shots of automotive fuel additive instead?

I could only, again, will for death as he explained that, of course part of the reason she’d been hired was because of my own words speaking for her.  I had no reply.  I sat there in bitter disappointment at how death was unwilling to respond. I instead willed for that block of the city to be struck hard by a sudden and deeply distracting earthquake.  No luck there either.  I ended up mumbling some claptrap about trying to do better and slithered out the door.

As it turned out, my department was soon going to be relieved revised anyway and she was being moved to another department.  Fortunately, that little ‘situation’ worked out for the both of us, but it left me with a lot to contemplate, and to learn, especially when it came to  reference letters.

I learned how to say “sorry, no can do” when I had to, and more importantly, I got a much firmer grip on the seriously wise adage of  ‘say what you mean and mean what you say’. There was just no way I could take another possibility of having to turn to scotch.

RL

Friday Funnies On Monday: ‘Cause I Can

I went a little rogue on the Friday funny business because I was completely occupied with birthday frivolity that started on Thursday and coasted me right into this morning. It was a blast, no ragrets, ready to start the newest week in my newest year with a ha ha.

Anyway, getting down to work here… you know what they say: funny business is serious business and if you’re not laughing, you’re serious. A’right, a’right, no one is saying that, just a little diversion to move us along into the Monday Medicinal Memes … Which is better than the cactus needles my son said he wanted to stick into his nose after reading this. Moving on…

Rode the train this morning with the Invisible Man

Uh oh, someone’s in hot water now

We’ve all been there, right?

Do thine eyes deceive thee?

Sleight of hand pro level

They say it’s usually a recessive gene, skips a generation kind of thing

Awesome relationship vetting process

This is just a true story

Come to the farm, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

The regularly scheduled PSA

I believe I have perfected this method

This is how I end my fab, fab, oh so fab birthday weekend.

Do whatever you have to for an awesome week…

RL