Blackbird Fly…

This is a re-run of a little story from a year or so ago. I’d made a bit of a startling discovery that would provide me with an amusing relationship until this Spring. 

At that time, I realized I’d entered a murderous circle, a plethora of new friends, and an opportunity to crow a little about it, if you will…

… The story of how I’d met my latest gang and a renewed sense of awe for their amazing wits began over a series of 8 Wednesdays.  I’d shared a snack with a few crows that hung around my parking lot. All was a few minutes of cool amusement and then I went on my way.  I didn’t see them again until the following week, another Wednesday. So, I again shared my snack.

The third Wednesday I came out to a whole row of them on the power lines above me, waiting. That made me laugh, but alas, I had no snacks. I couldn’t believe they learned in only 2 sessions which day of the week I’d likely have snacks and about the fact that they knew which day of the week it was!

The next Wednesday, they were there again. Not the day before nor after. Of course I came duly prepared. In the weeks that followed, they changed up the timing a little. As the days got warmer, it seemed as though they decided it was better to come by for a cooler morning treat, so they waited for me to arrive instead. Not one to be seen during my departure in the hot afternoon. Now, about that fact they knew what time I’d arrive!

I guess I could say they trained me as efficiently as my dog has. Absolutely nothing bird-brained about these amazing educators. They paid me back for the sustenance devotion with regular rounds of laughs at their antics and their propensity to show off how they easily outwit other birds.

They got quite brave, or comfortable with me as they’d confidently land at my feet. I especially enjoyed their calls to me as they came down. They alternated between this loud repetitive clicking and what sounded like tongue clucking. Maybe they were just swearing at me in Crow, but I’m choosing to believe they were saying, hey, good to see ya.

They continued their visits faithfully until later this Spring. For the most part, they just stopped showing up. Now and then a straggler or two would come, but then even they finally disappeared.

That’s life, isn’t it? Friends come, and then they go, and these fellas were no different. They definitely changed the drift of  ‘hump day’ for a while though.

I miss them.

You need to click on this pic to get the detail in his glorious face. This fella is the ring leader. He seems to be in charge of summoning the troops and declaring when it’s safe enough to pick through my offerings. He also seemed to be in the mood for this photo shoot. He posed this way and that as he watched for me to toss treats and coos of praise for this grand handsomeness.

RL

 

Monday Mirth; ‘Cause Friday Was 3 Days Ago

Τhe days are shorter and darker now, but we’re past the point where the light is back on its way so, yea, feeling a little on the lighter side. There comes that time in the year when you realize you’ve done what you’ve can in all the months prior. It’s all that it is and all that it can be until the new year opens up other opportunities.

I like the teachings of my culture and its relation to nature that tells us winter is a season of rest and replenishment.  Let it all go for a bit, breathe and grab a smile wherever and whenever…

I swear, this was what my neighborhood looked like November 1st. No damned joke.

When the tree has to match the size of the ego…

Just a little somethin’ for my Neechie friends. It’s an oldie, but I just love these little fellas

The obligatory PSA

It was only then Rudolph’s mom realized her error…

Damn those milky trenches

They say Christmas is really for the children, right?

Do it. Much happiness guaranteed. May not apply to real trees.

Ha! Jokes on you dude, that’s a summer shirt he’s got on.

The bonus meme: 10 extra points for getting the joke

 

Wishing all a fab Christmas, a wonderful holiday season, a terrific however you want to celebrate any extra days off with all the people that are dearest to you or in any solitude you may crave.

See you again closer to New Year’s Eve. Feeling up for a little light poetry by then, I think.

RL

Friday Funnies; ‘Cause I’m Smokin’ Hot

Yeah, so BC is on fire. Again. 10 years of this oppressive heat & ash-filled lungs trend and of course, Canada decides it’s a perfect excuse to build a highly toxic, combustible pipeline through the path of the most fire vulnerable areas possible. No joke. The federal government has actually stated and paid to advertise that, ‘by throwing more carbon into the air, we will reduce our carbon footprint’. Can we possibly be more cutting-edge? 🙄

But I digress. Where was I? Right, so from trying to breathe through the latest ‘new normal’, in what is predicted to be a continuing trend of awful new normals for our summer air quality, to blinking non-stop at the political machinations over the entire of North America, a little escapism is more than in order. Yeah?

I make no apologies for my reliance on the sacred, the medicinal, the gucci-est high five to your face memes. Let us proceed. It’s always good to introduce yourself, so let me start with that…

Meet, Canuck.  Vancouver’s City Ambassador. He beat out Michael J. Fox. Not kidding. Like attracts like; we occasionally double date.

Who doesn’t enjoy a good drive-thru?

It’s true, what they say about sand, it DOES get everywhere

Not, hilarious funny, it’s good, but I just love a good appliance sale

If only I had a dime for all the times…😏

Musical Interlude
A couple for the oldies… (Click on the pic, if you’re a serious newb)

Who’s singing now?

Moving along…

Truth in advertising

See? BC fires. I’m tellin’ ya.

I like to conclude by tying a demo to my opening salvos. I think this sums it all up nicely.

Have a terrific final August, 2018 weekend. Stay hydrated.

RL

Kill Me Now Karma – Formally Known as Do Not Write a Reference Letter This Way, Reprised

I made a terrible mistake in a reference letter once. Granted I was very young and new to the processes of supervision and management. My only training had been being thrown directly into the fire.  Actually, I think they used me as kindling.

As it happens, I was eventually asked to write letters of reference.  Unfortunately, one of those early requests was for someone that I would’ve preferred not to do, but I felt a little obligated and truthfully, I also had semi-dark reasoning.   I was hopeful that it might help us get rid of her faster.

typewriter and paper for 46She regaled us daily with constant complaints. Unfortunately, her desire to provide suggestions for improvement didn’t match her primary efforts.  She also questioned whether every request was really necessary and then she moved at the speed of cold honey to complete them.

Various versions of our days of whine and quease ran through my mind as I struggled with what to say in the letter.  In the end I managed to write that she was a good employee who reliably came to work and could be recommended to competently complete processing general work in repetitive format.

And then she was gone. Yay!

A couple of years later, it was time for me to move on too.  I was thrilled with my new position in a really dynamic up and coming company. It was about a year into this job when guess who applied for a position at the same place?  When some asked me about her because of our mutual previous employer, I said I only knew of her and that I couldn’t really say much else.

I was underwhelmed at the thought of her presence in the building, but I was really unprepared for the news that she would be coming to work in my department, once again under my supervision.  Was I an ax murderer in a previous life, Karma?

I was ready to throw back scotch shots, multiple scotch shots, and I can’t even look at that stuff without thinking esophageal transplant. I still don’t understand how scotch isn’t really automotive fuel additive.  I wholly entertained “kill me now, Karma” thoughts.

To make a long story short, and to shorten the building horror of my damaging memories, I’ll just move onto the day my scotch bottle needs blew up.  My frustrations uncorked with an unbridled request for her to complete her duties.  As in, “Why can’t you just shut the hell up and do your damned job”?

I didn’t realize how loudly I‘d made my request until I saw the company VP strolling down from the other end of the building to ask if I was OK.  Then he asked me to come and speak with him in his office. Yep, thats a walk of shame right there, especially when it’s with somebody you deeply respect.

We engaged in the discussion of what happened and why and how I couldn’t understand how we could move ahead in any meaningful way with such an obvious lack of fit, as she clearly was.

He turned to a bank of files and pulled out a folder.  In measure of fair play, or maybe just a little bit of play, he asked me if I was sure she wasn’t competent enough to work for the company.  I answered with certainty; no, she is not.  Then he handed me a copy of a reference letter she’d provided. Yup. Why couldn’t he have just handed me a few shots of automotive fuel additive instead?

I could only, again, will for death as he explained that, of course part of the reason she’d been hired was because of my own words speaking for her.  I had no reply.  I sat there in bitter disappointment at how death was unwilling to respond. I instead willed for that block of the city to be struck hard by a sudden and deeply distracting earthquake.  No luck there either.  I ended up mumbling some claptrap about trying to do better and slithered out the door.

As it turned out, my department was soon going to be relieved revised anyway and she was being moved to another department.  Fortunately, that little ‘situation’ worked out for the both of us, but it left me with a lot to contemplate, and to learn, especially when it came to  reference letters.

I learned how to say “sorry, no can do” when I had to, and more importantly, I got a much firmer grip on the seriously wise adage of  ‘say what you mean and mean what you say’. There was just no way I could take another possibility of having to turn to scotch.

RL

Friday Funnies On Monday: ‘Cause I Can

I went a little rogue on the Friday funny business because I was completely occupied with birthday frivolity that started on Thursday and coasted me right into this morning. It was a blast, no ragrets, ready to start the newest week in my newest year with a ha ha.

Anyway, getting down to work here… you know what they say: funny business is serious business and if you’re not laughing, you’re serious. A’right, a’right, no one is saying that, just a little diversion to move us along into the Monday Medicinal Memes … Which is better than the cactus needles my son said he wanted to stick into his nose after reading this. Moving on…

Rode the train this morning with the Invisible Man

Uh oh, someone’s in hot water now

We’ve all been there, right?

Do thine eyes deceive thee?

Sleight of hand pro level

They say it’s usually a recessive gene, skips a generation kind of thing

Awesome relationship vetting process

This is just a true story

Come to the farm, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.

The regularly scheduled PSA

I believe I have perfected this method

This is how I end my fab, fab, oh so fab birthday weekend.

Do whatever you have to for an awesome week…

RL

Um Adriana, I Don’t Like You Like That

So, I got another email from Adriana today. At first I was annoyed at her constant recurrent messages. However, now as the months have gone by, I’m starting to worry about her.  She really doesn’t seem to be able to move forward in life.

typistShe said she’d chatted with me quite a bit on Facebook before I deleted her.  I can honestly say, I don’t recall any of that. Nothing, nada, zip. But then again, a little further in the letter she admitted that maybe she chatted with me only a couple of times.  I wonder if this was when I was attached to those serious morphine drips.

She keeps saying she is newly single and moving near me soon.  Seems she’s not able to move quickly, ‘cause she’s still where she was when she started writing me seven or eight months ago. She might also have to start making better choices in the love department since her relationship cycle has gone down to one or two week increments at most. Always sounds so lonely; poor thing. Maybe I can help her out with that.

Actually, I’d better help her out with that.  Apparently somewhere in those early chats, she got the idea I could be some kind of friend with benefits. She said I told her how cute she is. (Gonna have to go ahead and blame the morphine). Then she continually asks if I’m married and drops lots of hints about what we could do together.  She “loves the outdoors and to socialize, go out for drinks, restaurants, movies etc”.  She also calls me “Babe”. I think the sooner I can get her set up with someone, the less likely I am to hurt her feelings when I have to point out that I don’t really like her ‘like that’.

She said she’s currently employed with some kind of website where she actually gets paid to yap, etc.  Sounds like a pretty good gig to me; I can chat anyone’s ear off! I wonder what the pay is like?

On the other hand, she said she needs to find work when she does finally get here.  I hope that’s not a hint to help her find a job.  I’m not sure what I could endorse her for – maybe something with repetitive tasks.

I wonder why she couldn’t just set up the same chat thing here.  It would save a lot of effort to get settled, and it would also help a lot in romantic appeal territory.  I’m sure her having a job would be a lot easier for me to promote than the level of her libido – something else she likes to point out regularly. Some people are just that comfortable with themselves, I guess.

Anyway, as a soon to be neighbor, I will do my best to welcome her to the community. Hopefully I’ll only have to show her around a little.  Hopefully her resume is up to date.  Hopefully she doesn’t add that libido part into the conversation when I introduce her to anyone.

I’m not sure what I offered in those alleged conversations, but a little help is the least I could do after her repeated generous offers of some kind of VIP pass code to her chat site, which by the way, includes full access to her webcam. Normally people have to pay some big monthly fees for this, but because I’m a ‘special’ friend, her boss “Natalie”, says I can have it for free.

I suppose I should log onto it soon to at least let her know I got the gift and say thanks.  Then I can see if we can nail down the dates of her imminent arrival and finally get her onto her new path.

Oh look, there’s another email from Adriana; I guess I can catch up with her now.

RL

Friday Funnies: ‘Cause It’s Time For A Little Music

I think it was one of those weeks that work to kick off a great Mother’s Day weekend:  Car Trouble Tuesday, Winless Wednesday Lotto, last Saturday threat of arrest. Yeah, this  > < close, but no cuffs after all. This Saturday will likely look slightly less dramatic. I say as I now scramble to find a piece of tree to knock on immediately.  Ah, it wasn’t that dramatic really. I was just exercising my right to protest the risks of permanently destroying the water around Vancouver with bitumen. All in a day’s work …

This brings us to Friday and you know what that means! I’m in the mood to hum …

We can all start with a full group guilty plea…

Oh sure, despite the obvious threat, no one offered to arrest this guy though

Summer PSA intermission

C’mon, sing it with me… Wo-oah…

This one’s for the Millennials. Whatcha gonna do with all that junk. All that junk inside your trunk

A moment of silence, please. Nah, just kiddin’ …  And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye …Singin’ this’ll be the day that I die ….This’ll be the day that I die….

Small dogs. …Amirite?  Arrest it!

….Na na na na na na na na na na naaaaaaaaaaa…. Oh nooooo…….

This is why summer PSAs are necessary

Well, you knew we had to address the elephant in the room eventually…

Mm hmm. Yep.

And now, at least two of those tunes will stick with you for the rest of the day. Have a fab weekend, and a Happy Mother’s Day – in solidarity  … or solitary. Up to you, really.

RL