Can Somebody Else Take the Call?

When charity hurts…

I’ve had to step back from all the social responsibility input I get from my social media lately. It is through these that I am most often reminded  that we don’t have any shortage of needs for all of our peoples.

I have clicked the ‘like’ button for several sites of social causes and in return I receive several messages a day on what needs attention, awareness, fixing, improvements, money, assistance, care, input, management, volunteers, and uprisings of various degrees – pretty much constant pleas for pretty much everything I have to give.

So many calls for my pennies, my dollar a day, my only $35 a month automatic debit, my Canadian Tire money, my empty cans and bottles, and used household items – pick-up included.

They use the most affecting photos and film clips to grab  my attention for their 2 minute plea, and hats off to their creators, they are very effective. (Must take notes for my  charities).

The posts fly by so often and in such variety that being overwhelmed with a complete sense of helplessness and guilt can happen quite suddenly and deeply. I want to help them all.  I wish I could help them all.  I throw my hands up in prayer for them all.

I tell myself that we can only do what we can do, but even so, I have to work to regain my social care equilibrium.   Take a break Mona. Whoa Nelly. Slow down Sally.  I find myself clinging to the Starfish Story.

We can’t help everything even if we want to.  We have to choose.  Making those choices is hell sometimes, but oddly this is where sanity starts to come back for me.  When I start to realize it doesn’t matter what I choose, it matters that I choose to help – period.  Breath in, slow and easy.

Not being able to answer every call for help is not the same as ignoring them.  That is someone else’s ringtone we’re hearing.  I do believe they’ll get it.  Exhale.  In the end, I think we tend to gravitate to causes that answer a call to healing within ourselves, and then we move on from there.

We better all brace ourselves though.  According to recent Costco displays, the really big season of giving is just around the corner.  Sigh.

RL

Starfish Story

The Starfish Story (an adaptation of part of an essay, The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley)

Class, The ‘80s are Dead, & Now We’re All in the Service Industry

What if your job was used as an example for what not to be when you grow up?  Imagine that – your job served up as a warning for what you will end up if you don’t do well in school.  This recently happened to a friend of mine. He didn’t hear this warning firsthand. The class that did was attended by his daughter.  Now, imagine that.

It’s probable her teacher had best of intentions to motivate the students, and even my friend acknowledged that. He also said, good thing his daughter has thick skin, but even so, she felt compelled to apologize for the ignorance of others.   As a parent, you would think about your child in that class at that moment, then you’d be taking measurement of your own skin depth.

People in – generally accepted as respectable- careers, might breathe a little sigh of relief at not having to deal with a situation like that.  I don’t even have to mention his job because many will have already assessed whether or not they have one of ‘those’ jobs. Probably something menial, or in the service industry, right?  I think on some level though, most would feel there is something not quite right about it all.  Do unto others, etc.

server 1 diffusedIt doesn’t matter what road we go down, ultimately whatever we work at is in service to someone else, and whether we are aware or not, we are also teaching. We will share our combined life experiences in some form or another, for better or worse.

One of the things I’ve been thinking about, after reflecting on my friend’s experience, is the idea of a simple shift in how we perceive and pursue success and the related esteems.  Success definitions aside, there’s nothing wrong with shooting for the top or making top dollar, just that there could be more emphasis placed on important pursuits leading to that.

For performing our services, most want to earn respect, appreciation, and even admiration with our money. It’s hard to honestly earn good money without applying these qualities anyway.  What if we started reaching for the stars from a place that sets aside aspects slavishly pursued in the 1980s like image, titles and the bottom line? What if we started our pursuit of work or career by thinking about those aspects that we care about as people regardless of role in our careers. Corporations spend billions on ways to humanize their images, to be relatable to people.   What irony.

Could we make more of an effort to shift, and teach to shift, the perspective from what can we get out of life to what can we give?  Could we consciously ask ourselves before we start our day, school, work or career directions by asking in what way(s) are we best suited to serve? What can I, what do I, give to the big picture? I wonder what kind of success levels as a society we would have then.  It might sound lofty, but it really isn’t.

This isn’t simple idealism; it’s still about earning a buck and a decent living. The Real Housewives TV franchises will live, just wouldn’t it be nice if we could make them even less real than they already aren’t?  We can still aspire to C.E.O lifestyles, but doing it with that simple shift in perspective changes the complexion of how we view status and value through titles and job types. It’s not what do we do, but how do we serve?

I think on some level we already know this as mostly true.  No matter what title we achieve, what everyone really wants to know is how well, and what, were we able to contribute. We really care about the type of person we are, and who we’re working with. It’s how we want to be described when we die.  If you need a touch of proof, watch an episode of Undercover Boss sometime.

Knowing even the little that I do about this, I’d still wager that the rewards for turning this table in society would be huge, including financially. It all begins with just a small change in thought. Imagine that.

At a minimum we could leave the examples of what not to be at drug dealers and crooks.  And tofu hot dog makers.  (Just kidding tofu people, some of my best friends are tofu hot dogs).

Click on picture to read note

Click on picture to read note

Oh, about that example of what not to be?  To start, he is an outstanding parent.  For pay he works with staff and children, in a host of ways, every day of the school year.  After that, his resume’ includes being an amazing photographer,  a writer of beautiful poetry and witticisms, and an extensive world traveler.

He must also be a pretty successful service provider because one day he received this note on his work cart. Seems like outstanding achievement to me.

RL

“We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give”                Sir Winston Churchill